[ Ash wants to argue that it's passive aggressive. 'Yeah, I'm at fault. You were wrong then and I had every right to be angry and leave you, but I came home so I'm to blame here'. He wants to keep arguing, and most times, he would. With the mounting fatigue and acceptance that means the loss of something he'd desperately tried to cling to, his tongue stays still until his mind reminds him of that acceptance.

The actions of the traumatized have the same consequences. ]

I never thought of Eiji as deadweight.

[ Their arguments shouldn't insult Eiji. ]

I thought I had to be strong enough to protect the stuff I wanted to keep. He made me realize that meant giving up everything I wanted to keep so I stopped.

[ His arms tighten, just a little. ]

I held onto the idea a lot longer than you think.

[ Even in the truck, when not able to admit why he wanted to stay in college, it was because it was something normal he wanted for himself. He'd made too many mistakes. Too many enemies. It's too dangerous. And even more dangerous, he's too messed up to be what anybody needed. Before he slept with Blanca, he wouldn't have even guessed Max could be reduced to this level of self-doubt. Then, he'd been arrogant to think he could fix it. Months later, there's no movement. He hurt him more than Jessica ever did. ]