[There. See, Asher? He'll keep you together. So stop asking me to fix it.
But he does have to fix it. He stares at his now bleeding forearm, watching the cat be much less loving with him then Ash's is.
Over and over again, he's resigned himself to faking it and making it work. But it always comes back here. He can't stay in character, it seems. So resolving to act better, to act as if he really believes he makes him happy, isn't a solution. If even hearing it here in secret doesn't do it, if he still decides he's become a symbol, that Ash needs it to be Max because otherwise he feels like a bad person for upgrading, for outgrowing him, for using him as a salve for Eiji who, also, was a symbol. Hell, Blanca might be too. Maybe the kid's not capable of love. Max is pretty sure he himself isn't. If he were, he wouldn't be telling himself every time this happened to play the part of it.]
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But he does have to fix it. He stares at his now bleeding forearm, watching the cat be much less loving with him then Ash's is.
Over and over again, he's resigned himself to faking it and making it work. But it always comes back here. He can't stay in character, it seems. So resolving to act better, to act as if he really believes he makes him happy, isn't a solution. If even hearing it here in secret doesn't do it, if he still decides he's become a symbol, that Ash needs it to be Max because otherwise he feels like a bad person for upgrading, for outgrowing him, for using him as a salve for Eiji who, also, was a symbol. Hell, Blanca might be too. Maybe the kid's not capable of love. Max is pretty sure he himself isn't. If he were, he wouldn't be telling himself every time this happened to play the part of it.]