jadedlynx: (talk to the back)
Ash Lynx ([personal profile] jadedlynx) wrote in [personal profile] papalobo 2023-05-06 04:55 pm (UTC)

[ Ash knows Max doesn't love him anymore. It isn't in the way he's thought it when angry or hurt. Those were emotional 'realizations'. This? It's a calm if very painful realization. Unlike Max, Ash thinks he did once. No, he knows it. Max has scars on his body to prove it. He's the one who lost it.

But that doesn't matter to Kuro. Confronting Max about it will do nothing. It was a slow death, but their relationship, the romantic side of it, died on the porch.

It'd be buried with a stone over the opening if he knew Max was wondering if he could love at all. He does, against his better judgment, love Max. Still. It'll fade. The desire to save them has been put to rest. Now, Ash knows it's a one-sided love, and those don't last forever. It means he can stay and help Max recover. There doesn't have to be hatred between them. He'll get stronger and more capable and realize that there's no reason to compare himself to Blanca for a guy he isn't actually in love with. His confidence will return. His writing is helping a lot of people, and he has the kind of recognition that will allow him to tackle important stories. Maybe if they're in a better place now, he can convince Max to move into the L.A. place and be closer to Michael.

It's not like Ash will be in a worse place than he was when this started. He got a taste. That was more than he thought he'd have. He's been to class now. He's tried a hobby that was meant to help him inside instead of becoming a useful skill. He's celebrated holidays, kind of, and birthdays, kind of. He'd met his grandparents. Maybe it was for a couple of days, but he'd had a glimpse of what it felt like to be accepted by people who cared about the side of you that you showed. And really, didn't most people show off their best side?

This was for the best. It really is. The next time he loses to a pervert, nobody has to know. Ash accepted the life as a gang leader and one in which he'd die young. The thought hurts now, but that'll fade, too. He actually even has time to deal with this one. ]


I know how it feels now, but I promise, I'll make you all happy.

[ With one final kiss, Ash grabs the scoop and heads for Asher's bowl. ]

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