Day 235 - Thursday, August 13th

[papalobo]

[...No answer? He waits.

Maybe he was insensitive with that one. But doesn't he have a right to protect his pride as someone who was dumped? He waits.

It's not like Ash is the only one he can't fuck. Blanca will come to mind as surely as Ash himself any time he tries not only with a partner (Haha. Ha ha ha ha. Real funny. Not into a humiliation kink so that ain't happening.) but even just trying to bust a quick nut to some porn or something. He waits.

He's done being gay, straight, anything. He's practically Eiji, now. He waits.

He waits, and he hopes Ash breaks off with Blanca, too. For such a sexy bastard, Ash leaves a lot of people in his wake Max is pretty sure will never fuck again. Eiij's not the best representative since he came in a virgin, but he's not a writer anymore, the details aren't so important. He starts to type a 'good night' that this time is properly, fully erased, and never sends. He sleeps.

By morning, Nima is up, showered, shaved, and going to pick up Max and the kitties because they're all going to have breakfast together. Ben doesn't quite think it's worth showing off with Ash's own cooking prowess, but the truth is he's a little proud of his capacity for pancake art cartoons and the fact that he can flip flapjacks really high in a pan. Rusty, for his part, is very proud of his ability to roll around in front of Ash and show off his stomach for pets.

When Nima returns with Max, she also has a very small parting gift, an oversized sleep shirt that reads 'World's Best Grandson'. It is just a sleep shirt, he's not expected to wear it in public but one can never have too many sleep shirts, she insists.

Rusty wants to smell the cats. Kuroneko is terrified of both the dog and his nose. Asher dutifully remains in front of Kuroneko and meows loudly in protest, which Rusty takes as a greeting and happily barks back. He tried to pull Ash to the cats, either because he thinks Ash needs to see them, or maybe because he wants Ash to take them out of the carrier so he can play with them. They are toys for him, right? Since he brought Ash his Santa last night?]

Comments

[jadedlynx]

[ Ash is hardly the type to cry over such a comment. He doesn't even let it keep him up too long. Still, is that the kind of breakup it's going to be? While there's a real desire to keep the older man in his life, Ash doesn't plan to take those kinds of comments forever. But it's fresh, and Max suffers from a lot of things. A failed experiment is hardly a flattering title, but as someone who seems to have just started to emerge from complete self-hatred only to crash back down to Earth, he can't really argue the fact they failed.

As she would have. As Eiji would have. Max actually had the better chance of success. It worked so poorly that Ash knows the others can remain a positive, if painful, thought in his mind just for the fact he can play pretend and act like it would have been nice if only they could have found a way to be together.

Max hadn't even packed a bag. The clothes weren't very personal, Ash gets that. Apparently, the other things, Christmas and birthday gifts alike, hadn't been worth bringing either. But he won't linger on that. Apparently neither of them focus too much on that kind of thing. If they had another Christmas together, it'd have been noted. They won't, so it isn't.

It's an odd juxtaposition to the current scene. Ash can't have relationships, he concludes, while finding a family who did want him. Even now, there's a the knowledge that they love him without knowing him. That's not their fault, but it's nice while it lasts.

It's a good gift. A little embarrassing, and it shows in the flush of pale skin, but it's nice. Hardly a title he deserves, but Ash keeps his self-hatred silent. That's private and for good reason. Since his grandfather seems so eager to show off, Ash stands by, giving him small challenges, enjoying any look of small pride he might have.

... As for Kuro and Asher being introduced to Rusty, who is a very good boy otherwise, he takes it slow. Any sign of biting and they're pulled away. But he introduces them only with the cats safe in hand.

As they head to the airport, Ash already knows he'll cherish this as the beautiful but fleeting time it'll be. He'll spoil them, he'll treat them like the long lost grandparents who loved him enough to mourn him, but he'll be ready for when they reject him. They're kind people. ]

[papalobo]

[Nima makes sure they have each other's phone numbers. She sends him a picture of the three of them together, and then sends it to Ash, after setting it as her phone wallpaper proudly. He has to come for Thanksgiving, but they should also make plans for at least one visit to be sooner. Maybe Labor Day? She would see how his school schedule went.

The two go with them as far as security will allow. And then it's Ash, Max, Asher, and Kuroneko. Kuroneko is talkative. Max is not.]

[jadedlynx]

[ Yeah, he'd keep in touch and they'll figure something out during his school break.

Then they're alone. He comforts Kuro as much as possible before they're taken away. Hopefully, they'll find some sense of normalcy for him soon. He and Asher have had an odd life.

And then there's Max. Silent, depressed Max. A depression linked directly to Ash, the experiment. ]

[papalobo]

Sorry.

[That's all. They have time to kill now, a few thousand feet in the air. Better to spit that out now than later.]

[jadedlynx]

For running away?

[papalobo]

No. But the worrying you part. Really figured you wouldn't care that much, 'sides that it didn't get to be you bailing first and feeling like it was fine 'cause you left me with money 'n a nice house 'n all.

You're softer'n that. I know that.

[jadedlynx]

The soft part is off base, but...

Yeah. You should've known it doesn't work that way. There's not an off switch.

[papalobo]

There is. We pushed it. It's over. Don't matter if there's still some kinda charge, the circuit's closed.

[jadedlynx]

Maybe for the relationship, but not for what we feel. That takes more time.

[papalobo]

[And thus the man who normally has a pretty constantly running mouth, the chatterbox he can be, is silent for the flight, even if he's not sleeping.]

[jadedlynx]

[ But Max opened the door. ]

Since you're up to running across the country, it seems like a good time to work on the mechanics program. The kids could use it. The article had the Unit kids unsettled.

[papalobo]

Yeah. I'll get back to work right away. I'll take the paycut for blowing off, too.

[jadedlynx]

You're trying to make it awkward, huh? Gonna switch to Mr. Golzine?

[papalobo]

It was a joke. Mr. G.

[jadedlynx]

Jokes are harder to pick out when they sound like the real stuff you say.

[papalobo]

We share a bank account. If it was up to you, I'd own all the mansions 'n you'd live in one sad room above a bar with food too good for you to appreciate.

[jadedlynx]

The room wouldn't be sad. It'd have two cats.

[papalobo]

One shitty room above a bar with food too good for you to appreciate, while your cats eat better'n you do.

[jadedlynx]

Is the food good or not? You're giving me mixed signals.

[papalobo]

The food's good. You won't eat it, you'll go get salads or something.

[jadedlynx]

My diet's going to be better than hamburgers and bacon.

[papalobo]

Even though you got the best metabolism you'll ever have in your life.

[jadedlynx]

Hamburgers are overrated anyway. I'm not missing out.

[papalobo]

[Out of steam, he falls silent again.]

[jadedlynx]

[ On a normal conversation that they could have easily had before they'd dated. When the feelings die, it won't be anything neutral. Instead, it'll be in the negative.

Ash can leave him with a better life in the end. Max's body will heal. He won't be homeless.

But he could be a dad again right now. A husband. That's something he'll always live with knowing. ]