Day 235 - Thursday, August 13th

[papalobo]

[...No answer? He waits.

Maybe he was insensitive with that one. But doesn't he have a right to protect his pride as someone who was dumped? He waits.

It's not like Ash is the only one he can't fuck. Blanca will come to mind as surely as Ash himself any time he tries not only with a partner (Haha. Ha ha ha ha. Real funny. Not into a humiliation kink so that ain't happening.) but even just trying to bust a quick nut to some porn or something. He waits.

He's done being gay, straight, anything. He's practically Eiji, now. He waits.

He waits, and he hopes Ash breaks off with Blanca, too. For such a sexy bastard, Ash leaves a lot of people in his wake Max is pretty sure will never fuck again. Eiij's not the best representative since he came in a virgin, but he's not a writer anymore, the details aren't so important. He starts to type a 'good night' that this time is properly, fully erased, and never sends. He sleeps.

By morning, Nima is up, showered, shaved, and going to pick up Max and the kitties because they're all going to have breakfast together. Ben doesn't quite think it's worth showing off with Ash's own cooking prowess, but the truth is he's a little proud of his capacity for pancake art cartoons and the fact that he can flip flapjacks really high in a pan. Rusty, for his part, is very proud of his ability to roll around in front of Ash and show off his stomach for pets.

When Nima returns with Max, she also has a very small parting gift, an oversized sleep shirt that reads 'World's Best Grandson'. It is just a sleep shirt, he's not expected to wear it in public but one can never have too many sleep shirts, she insists.

Rusty wants to smell the cats. Kuroneko is terrified of both the dog and his nose. Asher dutifully remains in front of Kuroneko and meows loudly in protest, which Rusty takes as a greeting and happily barks back. He tried to pull Ash to the cats, either because he thinks Ash needs to see them, or maybe because he wants Ash to take them out of the carrier so he can play with them. They are toys for him, right? Since he brought Ash his Santa last night?]

Comments

[papalobo]

I watched you make it.

[jadedlynx]

And you wouldn't think I'd poison you anyway. Eat.

[papalobo]

If you wanted to kill me, it'd be more painful than that.

[jadedlynx]

Yeah, slowly, overtime. That way I won't be suspected.

[papalobo]

Like you'd have a hard time hiding the body.

[jadedlynx]

Not by the time I was finished. You'd be skin and bones.

[papalobo]

That's what I mean. Hiding a body ain't a problem for you. 'specially not with the new boyfriend who'd be happy to make sure m'not lingering around stinkin' up the place.

[jadedlynx]

Is there a prize you get if you mention him so many times a day?

[papalobo]

I held a lot in tryin' not to mention him when we were dating. Nothin' to lose, now.

[jadedlynx]

It's already annoying. Knock it off.

[papalobo]

[And so he eats.

As expected, this doesn't really taste very good, either.]

[jadedlynx]

[ When eating, Ash seems to favor the chips. His thoughts are, likely as expected, elsewhere. Maybe they'll need to adjust this as they go, but it really is a big house. Why shouldn't they just manage to stay here until they figure out their next step. ]

[papalobo]

[Maybe rather than catharsis, he should stop talking like it's over. He should just play the role, pretend it's as fine as it was before. Just pretend. Fake it until you make it.

Not like he can make things any worse. Maybe he's trying to, bringing that guy up, bringing up how over they are as if to confirm it hurts for both of them. Of course it does. Ash doesn't have sex lightly. That was why he couldn't be satisfied just telling Ash not to be with him and letting that be that. So of course their break up hurts, even if Ash initiated it.

What does he expect, Ash to take it back? As if he had done it so lightly. And as if Max has anything left to offer there if they did. It'd all be pretend, no matter what.]

[jadedlynx]

[ It hurts; Max knows it hurts, and he knows that Max doesn't view him as some fragile flower who can't handle some pain. Ash isn't even shocked to find Max slightly lashing out by bringing up Blanca. Ash is sleeping with the guy, he did do the thing that ultimately ended it.

Still, it does hurt. They fought a lot before. They'd broken up before. Ash went to Max that time, too. Ash chased him this time. How long had he dragged this out? If he'd let Max go that time, he wouldn't have been injured saving Ash.

It's not odd if Ash doesn't finish his food. That's normal for him. ]

I haven't done therapy in a bit. I'm going to get started.

[papalobo]

I'll do the cleanup.

[The man who seemed determined to linger around him before agrees to stay put now in the kitchen.]

[jadedlynx]

[ The mood to show off the house is gone. All he did is not outlive a creep. What's worth showing off? But they knew he was okay, and that was enough.

Ash hopes painting can help the way reading sometimes can. ]

[papalobo]

[He has a lot of phone calls to make. He should start his own therapy. He should finish eating. He should... Just thinking of what to do makes him tired, though. It's a push to finish cleaning up after a basic sandwich lunch.

He had more energy broke in the summer Texas heat. Where was the relief, the sense that something was better for being with Ash when he pushed to manage to run after him, in the VA? How short lived.

So he goes to bed. The faster time passes, the sooner this new normal gets established, right? The sooner he can be used to this and move on.]

[jadedlynx]

[ There's a blond sneaking into his room within a couple of hours, just to be sure he's okay. Ash does understand that it's not as simple as their breakup.

... So maybe he needs to stop thinking he's the solution. Maybe he does need to have fun. Ash doesn't usually reach out to Max's friends unless Max is missing, but he'll do so before leaving. Max was back. They could come over and celebrate with him if they wanted. He'd even give him the address, something he's often secretive about. Ash warns him his mood isn't at its peak, but they could order pizza, bring some beer, and watch some movies or build a fire on the beach or whatever they used to do. ]

[papalobo]

My girlfriend is still pissed at me for not pressing charges or getting medical coverage.

If you're saying he needs a pick me up, I can try, but you know how it is with love. When someone's mad you have to let them have their way a while.

[jadedlynx]

I told you to get medical coverage. How much is it?

[ It's worth trying. ]

[papalobo]

I'll send the bill over. But if I tell her I'm going to see him again she's going to be mad.

[jadedlynx]

Forget about tonight. Just address the bill to me.

[papalobo]

How is he, anyway?

[jadedlynx]

[ Maybe Charlie has a better answer. ]

Back. He's asleep right now.

[papalobo]

If you're asking it's actually bad though, huh?