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Day 235 - Thursday, August 13th
[...No answer? He waits.
Maybe he was insensitive with that one. But doesn't he have a right to protect his pride as someone who was dumped? He waits.
It's not like Ash is the only one he can't fuck. Blanca will come to mind as surely as Ash himself any time he tries not only with a partner (Haha. Ha ha ha ha. Real funny. Not into a humiliation kink so that ain't happening.) but even just trying to bust a quick nut to some porn or something. He waits.
He's done being gay, straight, anything. He's practically Eiji, now. He waits.
He waits, and he hopes Ash breaks off with Blanca, too. For such a sexy bastard, Ash leaves a lot of people in his wake Max is pretty sure will never fuck again. Eiij's not the best representative since he came in a virgin, but he's not a writer anymore, the details aren't so important. He starts to type a 'good night' that this time is properly, fully erased, and never sends. He sleeps.
By morning, Nima is up, showered, shaved, and going to pick up Max and the kitties because they're all going to have breakfast together. Ben doesn't quite think it's worth showing off with Ash's own cooking prowess, but the truth is he's a little proud of his capacity for pancake art cartoons and the fact that he can flip flapjacks really high in a pan. Rusty, for his part, is very proud of his ability to roll around in front of Ash and show off his stomach for pets.
When Nima returns with Max, she also has a very small parting gift, an oversized sleep shirt that reads 'World's Best Grandson'. It is just a sleep shirt, he's not expected to wear it in public but one can never have too many sleep shirts, she insists.
Rusty wants to smell the cats. Kuroneko is terrified of both the dog and his nose. Asher dutifully remains in front of Kuroneko and meows loudly in protest, which Rusty takes as a greeting and happily barks back. He tried to pull Ash to the cats, either because he thinks Ash needs to see them, or maybe because he wants Ash to take them out of the carrier so he can play with them. They are toys for him, right? Since he brought Ash his Santa last night?]
Maybe he was insensitive with that one. But doesn't he have a right to protect his pride as someone who was dumped? He waits.
It's not like Ash is the only one he can't fuck. Blanca will come to mind as surely as Ash himself any time he tries not only with a partner (Haha. Ha ha ha ha. Real funny. Not into a humiliation kink so that ain't happening.) but even just trying to bust a quick nut to some porn or something. He waits.
He's done being gay, straight, anything. He's practically Eiji, now. He waits.
He waits, and he hopes Ash breaks off with Blanca, too. For such a sexy bastard, Ash leaves a lot of people in his wake Max is pretty sure will never fuck again. Eiij's not the best representative since he came in a virgin, but he's not a writer anymore, the details aren't so important. He starts to type a 'good night' that this time is properly, fully erased, and never sends. He sleeps.
By morning, Nima is up, showered, shaved, and going to pick up Max and the kitties because they're all going to have breakfast together. Ben doesn't quite think it's worth showing off with Ash's own cooking prowess, but the truth is he's a little proud of his capacity for pancake art cartoons and the fact that he can flip flapjacks really high in a pan. Rusty, for his part, is very proud of his ability to roll around in front of Ash and show off his stomach for pets.
When Nima returns with Max, she also has a very small parting gift, an oversized sleep shirt that reads 'World's Best Grandson'. It is just a sleep shirt, he's not expected to wear it in public but one can never have too many sleep shirts, she insists.
Rusty wants to smell the cats. Kuroneko is terrified of both the dog and his nose. Asher dutifully remains in front of Kuroneko and meows loudly in protest, which Rusty takes as a greeting and happily barks back. He tried to pull Ash to the cats, either because he thinks Ash needs to see them, or maybe because he wants Ash to take them out of the carrier so he can play with them. They are toys for him, right? Since he brought Ash his Santa last night?]
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I'll have the real one ready by the time you old guys have to bed, Pucker Lips.
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He has Kuro there for encouragement. maybe Asher. ]
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What if Max is actually enjoying himself? Ash begins to speak out loud as he gets back to drawing. It's hard to know. Ash can't actually read minds so maybe it's all an act, but if he's seriously enjoying himself, it's a good thing. ]
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It was an early morning thanks to his grandparents and a long flight. By 11, he's downstairs with a much better drawing in hand. Ash is ready for bed. ]
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By 1, once they leave, he's asleep. ]
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It was hard. Every rape is hard. While he works to help Sing and focuses on his guilt, that doesn't mean Ash doesn't hurt from being used again. ]
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This isn't the time for those thoughts. How long had he slept together with Ash, while his troubled boyfriend kept his troubles repressed, seeming to sleep peacefully as long as Max was around? This lowered guard is because he expects to be alone. This is wrong.
This is invasive.
But none the less, as if it were normal (it feels too normal, too natural) his arm goes around him, tightly, pulling Ash's body against his own.]
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Even asleep Ash knows this is something he won't have for much longer. ]
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[Ash won't wake up. He's confident in that, pushing Ash's face in further, urging him to completely take whatever comfort he, who isn't Blanca, can provide.]
...Even if it means the end of us, it was worth savin' you even one minute sooner. If it was him, he could've just ditched me, probably saved you within the same day. But even a few hours more of that, even one minute more of that, ain't okay.
But I can't stop, either. One more asshole doin' shit "for you" you don't want.
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Max spent the last three weeks imagining him in the arms of another man. Though anger comes and goes, he ultimately knows the fault lays with him.
Ash really does wish this genius IQ was more useful when he wanted it to be. Tonight, at least, the nightmares calm down. Max can probably feel the way his body relaxes within his hold. ]
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Ash'll be mad in the morning. What else is new?]
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