Day 235 - Thursday, August 13th

[papalobo]

[...No answer? He waits.

Maybe he was insensitive with that one. But doesn't he have a right to protect his pride as someone who was dumped? He waits.

It's not like Ash is the only one he can't fuck. Blanca will come to mind as surely as Ash himself any time he tries not only with a partner (Haha. Ha ha ha ha. Real funny. Not into a humiliation kink so that ain't happening.) but even just trying to bust a quick nut to some porn or something. He waits.

He's done being gay, straight, anything. He's practically Eiji, now. He waits.

He waits, and he hopes Ash breaks off with Blanca, too. For such a sexy bastard, Ash leaves a lot of people in his wake Max is pretty sure will never fuck again. Eiij's not the best representative since he came in a virgin, but he's not a writer anymore, the details aren't so important. He starts to type a 'good night' that this time is properly, fully erased, and never sends. He sleeps.

By morning, Nima is up, showered, shaved, and going to pick up Max and the kitties because they're all going to have breakfast together. Ben doesn't quite think it's worth showing off with Ash's own cooking prowess, but the truth is he's a little proud of his capacity for pancake art cartoons and the fact that he can flip flapjacks really high in a pan. Rusty, for his part, is very proud of his ability to roll around in front of Ash and show off his stomach for pets.

When Nima returns with Max, she also has a very small parting gift, an oversized sleep shirt that reads 'World's Best Grandson'. It is just a sleep shirt, he's not expected to wear it in public but one can never have too many sleep shirts, she insists.

Rusty wants to smell the cats. Kuroneko is terrified of both the dog and his nose. Asher dutifully remains in front of Kuroneko and meows loudly in protest, which Rusty takes as a greeting and happily barks back. He tried to pull Ash to the cats, either because he thinks Ash needs to see them, or maybe because he wants Ash to take them out of the carrier so he can play with them. They are toys for him, right? Since he brought Ash his Santa last night?]

Comments

[jadedlynx]

[ Assuming Kent didn't decide to retroactively earn the beating, by 2 Max has a body rolling into his. With Eiji, he'd been more vocal. With Max, Ash seems a bit more physical.

It was hard. Every rape is hard. While he works to help Sing and focuses on his guilt, that doesn't mean Ash doesn't hurt from being used again. ]

[papalobo]

[It takes him by surprise, enough to make a noise, one he tries to muffle, followed by holding his breath. But isn't this about what he imagines Blanca doing, casually slipping into Ash's bed as if it were normal even when they weren't a couple yet? He knows. This is one of the few things given up by breaking up, and Ash will not take him back, no matter how happy it'd make Max while Ash still wants Max to be happy. He'll do anything for love, but not Max. That's how it is, right?

This isn't the time for those thoughts. How long had he slept together with Ash, while his troubled boyfriend kept his troubles repressed, seeming to sleep peacefully as long as Max was around? This lowered guard is because he expects to be alone. This is wrong.
This is invasive.

But none the less, as if it were normal (it feels too normal, too natural) his arm goes around him, tightly, pulling Ash's body against his own.]

[jadedlynx]

[ Ash Lynx manages a lot of things in his sleep. Even showering isn't guaranteed to wake him up. So really, when he moves enough to bury his head against Max's chest, almost as if he's trying to disappear into the man, that should be no surprise.

Even asleep Ash knows this is something he won't have for much longer. ]

[papalobo]

Sorry. M'still in love with you.

[Ash won't wake up. He's confident in that, pushing Ash's face in further, urging him to completely take whatever comfort he, who isn't Blanca, can provide.]

...Even if it means the end of us, it was worth savin' you even one minute sooner. If it was him, he could've just ditched me, probably saved you within the same day. But even a few hours more of that, even one minute more of that, ain't okay.

But I can't stop, either. One more asshole doin' shit "for you" you don't want.

[jadedlynx]

[ Love is supposed to make you happy. Ash clings to that. It has painful sides. People die. Rejection is real. But if two people are in love, when they're not fighting, they should make each other people. Ash spent the last two weeks knowing he wasn't giving that to Max.

Max spent the last three weeks imagining him in the arms of another man. Though anger comes and goes, he ultimately knows the fault lays with him.

Ash really does wish this genius IQ was more useful when he wanted it to be. Tonight, at least, the nightmares calm down. Max can probably feel the way his body relaxes within his hold. ]

[papalobo]

[But it's not real. He's not Blanca. Likely, Ash, in his sleep, is merely learning not to expose it. Still, in case he's wrong, because it's all he can do, he holds him.

Ash'll be mad in the morning. What else is new?]

[jadedlynx]

[ There's a chance Max will wake first though with the early hour, he's awake by 8. ]