Day 265 - Friday, September 12th

[papalobo]

[A Chinese man who is definitely a mature adult and not a teenager checks in to the Hyatt, one of their more exclusive rooms, along with his half-white half brother who is also certainly not a teenager and most definitely not the notorious gang leader wanted on suspicion of a September 11th New York City bombing in retaliation for an angry rogue sect of anti-American zealots.

The entire suite floor has been rented out, and it requires a special key card in the elevator and on the stairs to enter that floor. But they can rent one of the still very luxe rooms directly beneath.

A familiar white limo is in the car garage, though the opportunity to gawk or investigate is slim, between the security cameras and live guards.

There's still no contact from Max, but the Department of Homeland Security has become involved, and has begun to enter Ash's territory with intent to arrest any known figures within his gang to bring in for questioning.]

Day 284, Wednesday, Oct 1st

Comments

[sentimentalstoic]

I'd be interested to hear who else it might be.

[jadedlynx]

Two's enough.

[ Ash mumbles the words as he moves forward. Once he's directly in front of Blanca, his head falls forward, resting on a chest that's too big for normal men. ]

[sentimentalstoic]

[It's an unexpected moved, and there's some padding that feels like awfully real flab there, but beneath is still despite his best disguises, the reliable, broad, hard body he's come to rely on. A hand smooths the back of his hair. Ash not being one who cares terribly about conventional attractiveness allows him the luxury of being able to be so practical as to come pre-dressed for their mission like this.

It's quite selfish. But if Ash is going to think about Max the entire time they're together, it may as well be thoughts of how he actually is, rather than wondering, rather than guilt at not having been able to see him first.

Of course, if Mr. Glenreed has been self destructive, it will be worse, and Blanca has very little faith in the man they're seeing not to dramatically self destruct, but relationships can't be all fairy tale dates and feet sweeping romance, can they?]

[jadedlynx]

I should've borrowed this disguise before going in.

[ In spite of the joke, Ash's voice is small, revealing more than it had on the phone. He does miss Max, but it would be a lie to say the pain doesn't come from their repeated use. ]

[sentimentalstoic]

[The opposite arm them scoops around him, pulling him in closer, as with just that slip in his tone, he confirms the full nature of abuse Ash had been exposed to. Again.]

[jadedlynx]

[ The first time Blanca held him like this, he'd been even smaller, even younger. Marvin had just finished with him, and Ash knew he'd probably have to be with Dino that night, too. It all felt so hopeless.

He should be too old to cry over this by now, but as if Blanca's arm was permission, the tears start to come. His body shakes, both form terror and the sobs.

He never wanted it to happen again. ]

[sentimentalstoic]

[That time, Ash had been in a hotel bed; this time, Blana scoops him up, so he needn't even stand, bringing him towards the living room---Ash might notice, but is likely no longer surprised that the rest of the home is in good, cleaned condition, regardless of how viciously it had been ransacked.]

[jadedlynx]

[ He doesn't care about the state of the house right now. He's back there, face pressed into the table as his body moves back and forth with their thrusts. He's there, but he's also here, all but enveloped by Blanca. ]

[sentimentalstoic]

[Once sat down, he can hold him more firmly, head leaned back, looking at the ceiling as one hand moves in broad circles over his back, urging him to breathe deep and even, to let everything out without words or ego or anything so logical at play; it was an act of raw, bodily aggression and power that reigned over the boy who had rejected the power to put himself above that, the boy who likely could have ended them, but choose not to kill because... he choose this life, in this home, with the man they will see later.

This is the reality of Ash's world. But so too are the arms now around him, prepared to hold him as long as he may need, without a single change in his thoughts for him, having known of Ash's vulnerabilities before he's known much of anything else of him at all.

And if it were purely physical, he could make him feel as good as they did bad. He could remind his body that for all of the suffering he felt through it, it was also his connection to all the pleasures of the world. But sex has returned to something with an emotional factor, despite trying to destroy that link all these years. So it isn't a matter of good and bad medicine, anymore.

And so perhaps these rapes were harsher than most, when that part of his life was, in Ash's mind, meant to be over. It's never over. Not really. He choose to continue a life in the boundary between a God who ruled over the men who created him, and a vulnerable human who could love and lose.

Those who abused him enjoyed their power over him as much as his body. Maybe more. He was now known as much more than an easy victim. He was a difficult victim.]

[jadedlynx]

[ How Blanca must be disappointed. To see the boy he spent two years training be reduced to tears in his lap. What good did that skill offer if he couldn't use it? Does he see his time wasted?

Does he see Yut Lung?

The sobs are raw, but they do die down to tears to numbness. He stays in place even after they stop. The pain stays, and a good cry doesn't erase it, but the water is at least under control. ]

They're being investigated.

[ It's a low voice still, and he's not sure if Blanda can understand what that means: somebody might be punished this time. ]

[sentimentalstoic]

[He wonders if that really matters, or if Ash just hopes it matters, hopes something will make it different this time. Blanca's not a vengeful sort. For him, the thought of doing anything after the fact seems trivial; what's done is done, and it won't serve as any sort of warning, people who rape in these positions do it when they think the usual dangers are taken care of. And they often aren't wrong. But nobody including himself can be an ever looming threat to make all who dare think twice. Nor can the law. Nor can Ash's own prowess.

Ash's position is unknown, but Ash's boyfriend will probably want vengeance. Mr. Glenreed will see to it the investigation produces results. As will his publisher, more than likely. If it means anything to Ash, best let it come through them. It means something to them.]

I see. You'll have to confront the memory several times more in the coming months.

[jadedlynx]

The memories are always there. There's just usually no reason to talk about it.

[ They spent the entire time telling him it didn't matter who he told. Nobody would care. And usually, people don't. ]

[sentimentalstoic]

How often you tend to a wound affects how it heals, though.

[How often he has to actively remember it, in how much detail, and how much he must interface with it will affect both the memory and Ash himself.

He's not sure if for better or for worse but he can acknowledge that an investigation isn't all good and easy for him, either. Ash likely has some trepidations now about others having to know it happened to him, rather than having to merely push it down and move on. This is a new angle to his old abuses.]

[jadedlynx]

It's not like I didn't fight at all, but I gave in.

[ It's shameful to admit. He didn't use this, he was used. ]

I knew they could claim I'd tried to escape, and I'd lose. They pointed out that if I said anything, it'd look like that was just my MO. Cry rape. I didn't have an argument. People don't care. They sweep it under the rug.

They still don't care, but they got so dumb that they couldn't hide it anymore. I want to see their faces when they stand up there and try to explain why a prisoner in their care came away with internal stitches. I want it to their hands in cuffs this time.

[sentimentalstoic]

You'll be in the courtroom confronting them, then?

[jadedlynx]

If I have to be.

[ He's not going to push for it, but his testimony will be important. ]

If I don't, I read a lot. It's built a good imagination.

[sentimentalstoic]

Normally for such case types, the victim isn't required to be present for the accused to face their accuser.

[jadedlynx]

Mine usually die or get away. There's not been a lot in between.

[sentimentalstoic]

You have a little more say now.

[jadedlynx]

I say that I want those assholes to pay. I've always wanted them all to pay.

[sentimentalstoic]

You have a say in whether you'll be there when it happens. But, likely, you have the money for your lawyers to pursue it to the end.

[jadedlynx]

[ He can't say he wants to be there. He can't say he has an easy time admitting what was done to him. ]

I don't have to do it now.

[ He's just back home. The stitches are still in. Ash is tired. ]

[sentimentalstoic]

Mm. You don't have to decide anything now.

[His hand doesn't stop.]

We can meet him tomorrow.

[jadedlynx]

He'll ask how I got in. Max already has a complex about you. I don't want him thinking I'm using his lockup as a chance to get a week of sex in.

[sentimentalstoic]

[There's no pause in his stroking, and Ash can't see his expression.

So, Mr. Glenreed will think that of Ash? It's one thing to think it of himself, but the man should know Ash and his sexuality better than that.

He would never suggest lying, but... No, he would definitely suggest lying, Ash really should just lie about getting in on his own merits, on maybe paying off someone to play the older law partner, and the man never needs to know that a guard or two was going to be put to sleep for a while.

But Ash knows if he wants to lie, it will be easy. So Ash does not want to lie.

The visit was for Ash's sake, so if he prefers not to, that's that. But really, it's quite selfish of Ash's boyfriend to cling to such delusions at a time like this; Blanca would like to argue that right now, Max would not be so selfish, would not make it about his inferiority complex, but that's not a lie he suspects he could get away with long.]