Day 328, Friday, November 28th

[papalobo]

[It's weird, to end up at a home that's not home. He's spent more time there than anywhere else this year, but that says more about his transience than anything. If told five years ago he would live such a lifestyle, he'd have believed that, but not the part about most of those multiple places being not just six but seven, eight figure abodes.

And yet it's Jessica's home (still probably the nicest one he'd lived in as an adult, before Ash swept in) they're doing Thanksgiving in. Maybe it's a fear of being upstaged on her part if it's in such a house; such a naive thought is, while unvoiced, just more proof of Ash's suspicions, that Max's mind is on something, something Ash had likely been trying to put his mind on for months. Because with even half of his braincells to put to it, he'd suspect the worst sooner.

It's not until they're pulling up to the house and there are two other cars there that he remembers the hell of Thanksgiving is not only family, but family you don't normally have to see. And thanks to Michael, Jessica's family is still his family.


And their ride is a taxi. It's not like they can turn around. Though Michael coming out to greet them right away in a hurried excitement would've made it impossible in anything.]

...Maybe she decided to start investing in cars. But not especially good ones. To be more undercover. As a journalist.

Day 375, Friday, December 14th

Comments

[jadedlynx]

[ Finally, it seems the courage from the alcohol fades. He looks away. ]

Do you know how stupid it is to be happy somebody did something that stupid for you? I lost IQ points just by being a witness.

[ Sighing, he scratches at the back of his neck. ]

Tonight took away a few more. I haven't lied, but I got pretty desperate. I'll finish up out back.

[papalobo]

[But he gets a snap; Max's hand slams down on the bathroom countertop.]

You gave a tearfull goodybe to the cats! You were gonna end it over it! I had to beg! I had to promise I'd be a good boy and behave! I'm agreeing I'll go pick up some side-piece so you can feel less guilty about the other guy! I went back when you were in Chicago!

Now, what, you're bored? Not too worried I can get up to too much trouble with them in jail and China being quiet? Shit, just file another date with the competent lover, why don't you?

[jadedlynx]

I know!

[ Ash snaps back in return. ]

I screwed up! Do I need to draw a damn picture?! I'd just spent a week being gang raped and having to imagine them doing the same thing to you!

You don't think I cried and panicked when you left me?! I organized fucking search parties that had entire groups knowing I'd probably just gotten dumped and instead of acting like an adult, now had a bounty out on his ass! I stood in the damn VA asking you to come back after you ran away! I never made it out of the fucking house that night, Max, so don't stand there and pretend like somebody can't end a relationship and still be in love because the only way you wouldn't understand that would be if you stopped loving me then! And I don't buy that!

[ His lips thin further. There's still anger in his words, but there's somebody else. ]

Nobody told you you had to be with somebody else, too.

[papalobo]

If I don't, you'll just keep dragging it back to being about him.

[It's an absent explanation, as if that topic isn't even really important, off hand.]

In the VA you--[He remembers being the one chasing him down the hall. It's painful enough to be pretty hard to forget. But the energy drains. This is just hurting Ash again. Ash is right. Ash gets his way.]

When I sober up I'll go piss on a grave and bribe a prison guard to bribe some sickos to get their sick on on some 'approved' targets. Or something. I'll have time to think it out more.

[jadedlynx]

[ Maybe there's a lot of things Ash should focus on. There's definitely a lot of emotions to acknowledge. But... ]

So you're going to? Find somebody else?

[papalobo]

Don't rush it. I've been busy. I'm not exactly a catch. Especially out here if your whole thing about gettin' felt up less 'cause there're more lookers out here is true. And out here it'll be messy if Michael or Jessica get wind of it. So when we go back.

[jadedlynx]

Who's rushing it?

[ Ash doesn't want it to happen. At all. He has no right to deny it, but the idea of Max going home with someone else is...

It's much worse than the guilt. ]

It's better to take stuff slow anyway.

[papalobo]

What best? It's a fling to even out the board, it's not like I'm gonna have fireside chats with 'em.

[jadedlynx]

[ Ash blinks again as if trying to focus his thoughts. ]

What's the point of revenge if you don't even pretend to like it ?

[papalobo]

I don't want revenge!

[jadedlynx]

You can't really think that I want you to be with somebody else.

[papalobo]

Inn't that what we came up with at your grandparents's place? So you can stop feeling like you did somethin' wrong.

[jadedlynx]

Giving you permission doesn't mean I want it to happen! Who'd actually want that?!

[papalobo]

[Who'd actually want that. That's a hell of a question to throw at the guy who's been telling, begging him to go ahead and indulge in the two who do cover things he can't.

He tries to nudge past to leave the bathroom, at least.]

[jadedlynx]

[ Maybe in this, Ash is more selfish. He doesn't want to see Max coming home, knowing where he'd been. Who he'd been doing.

Once there's enough distance, Ash sighs. It wasn't a complete failure. He managed to get some things from Max, and more emotion than he's seen in some time. No, with Max heading off to bed, he decides to actually finish off the bottle and maybe become as drunk as he's been playing since opening that second liquor. ]

[papalobo]

[Though he does't retreat to the bedroom just yet; the bathroom's just--while spacious for a bathroom--a cloistered place to have an argument.]

Then one less annoying job on my list.

[jadedlynx]

What other annoying jobs are on there?

[ Then his act is still on.]

[papalobo]

You'll find me some.

[jadedlynx]

If you're going to make me sound like such a nag, I'll find a sudden interest in keep all of the toilets clean.

[papalobo]

What would you call this, if not nagging?

[jadedlynx]

I've already told you; desperation. Nagging is too small of a word.

[papalobo]

What you're desperate for isn't me.

[jadedlynx]

Yeah, it is. It's not Eiji you. You can keep throwing out stuff you say worked and didn't work for me, but I'm the only one actually living up there.

You'd have more of an argument by saying it's not right for all of that to be on you. You'd be right. It's not your job to be that for me.

[papalobo]

Yeah. It is.

[jadedlynx]

Anybody would be worn down fighting for something, sometimes against the somebody they're fighting for. I get that.