Day 265 - Friday, September 12th

[papalobo]

[A Chinese man who is definitely a mature adult and not a teenager checks in to the Hyatt, one of their more exclusive rooms, along with his half-white half brother who is also certainly not a teenager and most definitely not the notorious gang leader wanted on suspicion of a September 11th New York City bombing in retaliation for an angry rogue sect of anti-American zealots.

The entire suite floor has been rented out, and it requires a special key card in the elevator and on the stairs to enter that floor. But they can rent one of the still very luxe rooms directly beneath.

A familiar white limo is in the car garage, though the opportunity to gawk or investigate is slim, between the security cameras and live guards.

There's still no contact from Max, but the Department of Homeland Security has become involved, and has begun to enter Ash's territory with intent to arrest any known figures within his gang to bring in for questioning.]

Day 284, Wednesday, Oct 1st

Comments

[papalobo]

[Max stares up at him from the chair seat.]

You can't be this stupid. There's only three reasons someone wouldn't want you.

[jadedlynx]

There's nothing stupid. Why would you be a sucker if I didn't do something wrong.

[papalobo]

For your good, not mine! There's a reason you just ignored it when I try and give something a hard no!

[jadedlynx]

[ He was scared. He'd been subjected to men's base desires for months with the knowledge that young children were being abused just feet away. He was scared and hurt and not thinking straight, but saying any of that felt like leaning on his trauma as an excuse. He should have been stronger. Ash can't say it was his weakness without it being argued, too. ]

We've had this argument before, too.

[papalobo]

And I still ain't over it. That's why. It just keeps hurting you.

[jadedlynx]

You don't think it was a good enough reason. You think it speaks more about how I felt about you than how I felt about myself at the time. I'd normally be pissed that it would be enough to end everything instead of it being something I had to pay for, but we both know it was the sex that ended it.

[papalobo]

That was three whole damn months ago now. We've only been together ten.

[jadedlynx]

You were stupid to tell me it was okay to be with him, but I was a lot more stupid for believing it.

[papalobo]

It's the fact that you need him. May as well've been fucking him since you hired him.

He treats you like shit. Go for Eiji instead.

[jadedlynx]

Are you hoping I will so you can get out?

[ It's a genuine question. Blanca can provide the excitement, Eiji the emotion. Is that how Max sees the situation? ]

[papalobo]

I'm out whether I wanna be or not. What matters is you still get what you were looking for in it all. I'm not someone who can do it for you anymore. Shit, I probably never was.

[jadedlynx]

So it's a lot less pressure for you, not having to live up to them.

[ And happier days. Loyal partners who don't make him question himself. There's no accusation in Ash's voice. Max's misery is usually on full display. ]

[papalobo]

[But Max hears it as judgment. His fists curl, until his knuckles are white, his eyes on the computer screen, even while seeing past it.]

You think I wouldn't take the pressure for you if it mattered...?

[jadedlynx]

You think I'd want you to even if it does?

[ Ash didn't think he was worth the danger of dating before he somehow start attacking ego. ]

[papalobo]

No. But I'd do it anyway. I'd make you take it, if it was anything worth taking. I used to think it was.

[jadedlynx]

[ His hand has stopped moving the house. ]

I'm lying so that you'll stay because I'm willing to put up with you if it makes you happy even though it's pretty obvious I'm making you miserable? You're going to have to explain this to me.

[papalobo]

[His injured left hand finally goes slack, as if it were a body giving up the ghost.]

You're the same as me. I'm not making you happy. But we sometimes think if we try harder, do more, it'll happen, I'll be able to make you happy... But, I'm not. I can't give you a normal life. I can't take none of this away. I can't make it okay.

I can't make it so you don't need him. Of course you're gonna run off with other people. You got needs. Needs not getting filled here by me. Your life and world ain't things I can make better like I thought.

[jadedlynx]

[ Ash thought that might be the case. ]

So you've given up on it, huh? The normal life.

[ Then what was that talk about school and cats not 10 minutes ago? ]

[papalobo]

Not all of it. You can still do school. You can still have Eiji.

But you won't ever not need him.

[jadedlynx]

[ Those two worlds can't exist together. But telling Max that much is the same as saying he'll go back to ground zero when Max leaves. It's guilt. That's never a reason anybody can stay. ]

I need him, huh?

[papalobo]

You wouldn't be with him if you didn't still need him.

[jadedlynx]

What do I need him for?

[papalobo]

You tell me. Where's he following up on you or doing jack for you when all this's happening, huh?

[jadedlynx]

You think he's watching me and waiting to swoop in to save me?

[papalobo]

I would be. Eiji would be.