Day 265 - Friday, September 12th

[papalobo]

[A Chinese man who is definitely a mature adult and not a teenager checks in to the Hyatt, one of their more exclusive rooms, along with his half-white half brother who is also certainly not a teenager and most definitely not the notorious gang leader wanted on suspicion of a September 11th New York City bombing in retaliation for an angry rogue sect of anti-American zealots.

The entire suite floor has been rented out, and it requires a special key card in the elevator and on the stairs to enter that floor. But they can rent one of the still very luxe rooms directly beneath.

A familiar white limo is in the car garage, though the opportunity to gawk or investigate is slim, between the security cameras and live guards.

There's still no contact from Max, but the Department of Homeland Security has become involved, and has begun to enter Ash's territory with intent to arrest any known figures within his gang to bring in for questioning.]

Day 284, Wednesday, Oct 1st

Comments

[jadedlynx]

[ He aims an elbow at Max's side, but it's a gentle enough dig. Ash knows he's healing. ]

You think I should make that call today? I told you, I just got out of the hospital yesterday.

[papalobo]

Then, keep that in mind about all the things you think you decided today. Don't go bandaid-ripping and preparing yourself to leave the cats, either.

[jadedlynx]

[ School could shift. Ash is leaving wiggle room on it. The cats deserve better. ]

I have a good memory.

[papalobo]

I'm not in a position to say much. Since it's how I feel about you. But I'm trying.

[jadedlynx]

How you feel about me?

[papalobo]

"You haven't been bad. You're a great kid. I'll miss you. But it's..." [Despite himself, his throat tightens up. He corrects fast enough.] "..gonna feel really good... knowing you're with people who..."

[Nevermind, he's not in control of his voice. Clearing his throat as if he just suddenly had a fully random tickle, he gestures with his hand as if Ash ha memorized his own spiel to Kuroneko, as if he'd even recognize it.]

[jadedlynx]

Me and Blanca disagree on a lot of stuff, but books are one of those things. He loves literary devices. I don't. I don't find beauty in suffering or tragedy. There's just pain. People survive because they have to, not because they're some kind of caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

And I hate irony. Even when it's funny, it's in the way that makes you want to hit something. It's so frustrating that I'm a breakdown away from dosing myself with the honesty medicine so you at least have to confront the fact that even if I screwed up, everything's happening in spite of how I feel, not because of it.

[papalobo]

You didn't screw up, yet.

[jadedlynx]

You gave me the 'I'm the sucker for coming back just because you broke your pride enough to ask me to' talk less than an hour ago.

[papalobo]

Yeah, that's my screwup, not yours.

[jadedlynx]

[... There's no way Max is missing the thought process here. ]

You're a sucker for coming back which means I had to do something bad enough that only a stupid person would take me back.

[papalobo]

[Max stares up at him from the chair seat.]

You can't be this stupid. There's only three reasons someone wouldn't want you.

[jadedlynx]

There's nothing stupid. Why would you be a sucker if I didn't do something wrong.

[papalobo]

For your good, not mine! There's a reason you just ignored it when I try and give something a hard no!

[jadedlynx]

[ He was scared. He'd been subjected to men's base desires for months with the knowledge that young children were being abused just feet away. He was scared and hurt and not thinking straight, but saying any of that felt like leaning on his trauma as an excuse. He should have been stronger. Ash can't say it was his weakness without it being argued, too. ]

We've had this argument before, too.

[papalobo]

And I still ain't over it. That's why. It just keeps hurting you.

[jadedlynx]

You don't think it was a good enough reason. You think it speaks more about how I felt about you than how I felt about myself at the time. I'd normally be pissed that it would be enough to end everything instead of it being something I had to pay for, but we both know it was the sex that ended it.

[papalobo]

That was three whole damn months ago now. We've only been together ten.

[jadedlynx]

You were stupid to tell me it was okay to be with him, but I was a lot more stupid for believing it.

[papalobo]

It's the fact that you need him. May as well've been fucking him since you hired him.

He treats you like shit. Go for Eiji instead.

[jadedlynx]

Are you hoping I will so you can get out?

[ It's a genuine question. Blanca can provide the excitement, Eiji the emotion. Is that how Max sees the situation? ]

[papalobo]

I'm out whether I wanna be or not. What matters is you still get what you were looking for in it all. I'm not someone who can do it for you anymore. Shit, I probably never was.

[jadedlynx]

So it's a lot less pressure for you, not having to live up to them.

[ And happier days. Loyal partners who don't make him question himself. There's no accusation in Ash's voice. Max's misery is usually on full display. ]

[papalobo]

[But Max hears it as judgment. His fists curl, until his knuckles are white, his eyes on the computer screen, even while seeing past it.]

You think I wouldn't take the pressure for you if it mattered...?

[jadedlynx]

You think I'd want you to even if it does?

[ Ash didn't think he was worth the danger of dating before he somehow start attacking ego. ]