Day 208 - Friday, July 17th

[papalobo]

[Ash's alarm is going off at seven, which seems entirely too early to Max, drugs worn off enough to wake with the noise, worn off enough to know the meal he prepared last night is still probably good to go with a quick reheat. There really is no reason to get up so early, is there? Unless he has things to do.

Max can't do things. Why would he know if Ash had things to do?]

Comments

[jadedlynx]

[ It takes a little longer for him to wake up this morning. He moans in protest before finding his phone and turning it off. After a slow roll, he checks to see if it woke Max.

It probably did. He didn't sleep as deeply. ]

[papalobo]

What'd you set it so early for?

[He's awake and making eye contact as soon as Ash rolls to him, asking more out of confusion for Ash's self inflicted suffering than any complaint about being woken.]

[jadedlynx]

Practice for school. I had the sleep schedule of somebody who had to be up at nights for work.

[ Ash answers even as he yawns. ]

We have contractors coming around 10 today, too.

[papalobo]

Should I put on pants for 'em?

[jadedlynx]

Depends if they give me a discount or charge me extra for your pack of pants.

[ His head buries itself back into the pillow. ]

[papalobo]

We can afford my not wearing pants, I bet.

[jadedlynx]

Don't plan on flirting with the contractors until you see if they're worth it.

[papalobo]

M'actually already with someone.

[jadedlynx]

[ Still not fully awake, a hand moves to rest on Max's waist. He'll remember soon, the distance that's between them, but sleep does well to dull his memories. ]

[papalobo]

[Why does that feel embarrassing, of all things? He just kissed him yesterday. They're sleeping in the same bed. And yet there goes his heart as if someone's going to walk in on them, like they're two fifteen year olds, as if this were something inappropriate even for that age.]

[jadedlynx]

[ Yet for Ash, eyes closed again for a few seconds, looks as natural as he seems to be when in a library. There was no hesitation, no shame or embarrassment.

Sleep is nice. ]

[papalobo]

[Far be it from Max to take something nice from Ash. He can sleep, there's no problem, right? If he reaches out an arm around him, too, it probably won't change much.]

[jadedlynx]

[ The arm around him grows heavier as Ash's moment taken to rest his eyes turns into him actually falling back asleep.

In some ways, he really is still a teenager. ]

Day 219 - Tuesday, July 28th

[papalobo]

[By now, Max has learned that any positive feeling he has is going to slip away as soon as he capitalizes on it enough. Any gains he thinks he's made are illusory. He's been out of the hospital almost a month now (in his mind--in reality, it's been merely two weeks, half of the time period he's thinking; but the end of the month makes it feel more like a month has passed). It's time for him to be better. And yet he's not. It's because he's old and past his prime. If Eiji was out of a job before graduating high school, past his prime, what chance did Max have, who was never even special enough to be much of a high school athlete, certainly not at scholarship level like Eiji?

But none of that can be voiced to Ash. Ash will be bound to him by loyalty. And there's nothing he can do to free him. And if he expresses it, Ash will just suppose he's not proving to Max he deserves it enough. But that's a sick form of guilt; the fact is nobody deserves Ash. But he's the one who has him. Officially. That Russian guy he hasn't heard much about (Ash must be keeping his flirting a secret) also has him. And if Ash would let himself have him, Eiji could have him, too.

It's very convenient to act like he's trapped too, so he has no obligation to Ash, because, he tells himself, there's nothing he can do for him.

Even if today's test turns out well (it won't), he doesn't deserve him. He doesn't deserve this life. He doesn't deserve the circumstances that allow for any recovery he can make.

But he can fake it. He does think he's gotten better at that. Faking as if he's just given up deep thought and fallen into enjoying the benefits and privileges of having seduced a broken heir is a lot easier than you might think. More proof he doesn't deserve it.]

So what's my reward if the test turns out good?

[jadedlynx]

[ Ash does what he can. He works on cooking food that's both delicious and healthy; he reads books to help with targeted therapy. It isn't perfect, he isn't a doctor, but he tries. For both Max and himself.

Bringing out the test, he passes it over. ]

The flying lessons.

[papalobo]

[Rolling his shoulders, trying to be subtle about wanting to get any tension out, he refrains from taking in a deep breath, doing his best to look casual as he takes ahold of it. The cast has been replaced with wrapping, though when not explicitly testing or washing he's supposed to keep a plastic snap on one in place.

The results: far, far below average for his age and size, but distinctly above that of a small child. It's above then the more optimistic range the physicians had listed. He also pushes hard enough it hurts, enough to have him exhale heavily and slump back when done. It's just gripping a device, it shouldn't wear him out so fully.]

[jadedlynx]

[ Ash watches, face neutral as the number climbs; only Max expects the number to be higher. It's only when it meets and then exceeds the number that the grin begins to show. It's not warm as warm isn't his default, but it's satisfied. ]

You're ahead of schedule.

[ As he should be. The doctors didn't know what kind of bull head Max can have. ]

At this rate, it's not going to take the full month.

[papalobo]

[They had no excuse not to know; they had a week or so of him constantly trying to get out of bed, fighting off nurses who he was convinced might see him naked without Ash's permission, and generally being, well, Max.]

Doesn't feel like it's harder'n normal. Michael's probably got a tighter grip'n me still.

[jadedlynx]

In a week, he won't. They were already predicting a good outcome and you're ahead of schedule.

If I'm the optimistic one, it means you're working really hard to lose here.

[papalobo]

You're about normal if it ain't about yourself.

[jadedlynx]

I go by data. Increased pain means increased feeling. Your grip is getting stronger. You're able to go longer periods before you're out of breath. All data is pointing toward recovery.

[papalobo]

And the plateau?

[jadedlynx]

You haven't hit a plateau yet.

[papalobo]

Yet.

[jadedlynx]

Are you asking me what happens when you're back at full strength and still not superman?