papalobo | Day 265 - Friday, September 12th

No. I tortured him.

[ His voice is clinical. He's ready to argue the need for it while also hating himself for the willingness to do it. ]

[There's a moment of hesitation, eyes briefly widening, then settling in to an accepting expression. Ash wouldn't have done it if it weren't necessary. And it's not secret that Max himself was likely to have taken a few swings and put the guy through some less meaningful but all the same painful torture for the way he thought of Ash, the things he tried to do to Ash.

The guy was an enemy. If anything...]

...You're a nice guy, holding onto him alive. If you let him go, he's more likely to go to the cops on you.

You're going to excuse that too, huh? I cut into his dick.

[ Painful. Humiliating. But usually effective. Usually fast. ]

Sorry, come again. You what?

[That even comes with a hint of a strained laugh; he had to have misheard. Or this's a weird, weird joke.]

[ Attacking his hands or feet enough to cause the same level of pain would've crippled him. Though the cut was more humiliating, Ash stopped before it became too much to heal. Eventually.

But none of that excuses it from a morale perspective.

Finally, he grins. Max gets it now, right? He can spout excuses. 'They had Shawn, Sing, and Wu. They were all moving. I didn't have time for traditional torture.' But that's all excuse. The treatment and pain medication, the food and therapy, none of it makes him any less of a monster. ]

Want to change a few parts of your story now?

[ Ash doesn't believe in karma, but if he did, he'd know that's why he was raped in that station. ]

[Broad shoulders hitch up, a bristling sensation in his spine as he turns his neer to the road.]

Wipe that smirk off your face, you're not that sick.

I'm not smiling about what I did. I'm smiling because for a second, you got it.

That's what I mean! You're not actually even a little bit happy about that!

Not getting off doesn't undo the fact I stuck a knife into his dick.

So stop acting like you're happy I know about it! That "This's the real me, don't you get it!" bullshit when you actually feel like a damn monster over it and you're hoping I got an out for you!

I'm not looking for an out! I did what I did!

[ Max could demolish the entire structure, and Ash wouldn't see an out. ]

You don't get a pass for that!

The fact that you think like that's the out! You think I can't tell how much you hate yourself for doing it? For even thinking and knowing how to do it?!